Changing Habits

"The chains of habit are so light that you do not notice them until they are so strong that you cannot break them."  I first heard that statement from John Riley at Metro Bible Study.  Ominous thought, isn't it?  Lord knows, I've got plenty of strong links in the Habit Chain.  Fortunately, some of the links represent good fixations like brushing my teeth, eating healthy and exercising, but it's the other inclinations I'm tired of.  One strong link in particular begs for shattering Samson strength.     

"A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit."  Now this quotation from Erasmus, Martin Luther's contemporary and admirer, gave me hope.  Hope enough to send me off in search of a hammer and a nail. 

The old nail lodged in my wooden brain for way too long was the proclivity of TCT:  Thinking Critical Thoughts.  Critical thoughts about my diet, about my personality, about my friends, about my family, about many of the things God loves and created.  Well, I grew tired of being critical.  It's not fun.  It's heavy and exhausting like trying to swim a stormy ocean with clothes on.  I want to be free of the extra weight and bulk and chaotic fabric.  I want to cavort and swim naked with the dolphins in sun sparkle.

I decided it was time to lay the hammer down and birth a new addiction.  Time to beat out the spike of TCT with the anchor of POE, Praying Outrageous Encouragement.

At first I attempted POE for the one I was thinking critically about, but that was too big a step for a newbie like me.  My thoughts kept returning like a boomerang back to the same old rut in the mind road.  So I had to step back, way back, to Square One.  Instead of pounding POE for the person or thing that obviously Needs Work, bless her heart, I decided to tackle POE for something that was effortless... like my best friend or her daughter's wedding or my best friend's 50th birthday or my best friend's yoga business.  After all, applying POE for something uncomplicated more accurately matched my skill set.   

And didn't Jesus say "My yoke is easy"? 

So at present I'm following His lead and setting myself up for smooth success.  I'm allowing an elementary pattern to guide me.  Once I master POE for the obvious, then maybe I'll advance to a bigger hammer, a tougher nail, a more challenging blueprint.

And if John Riley was right, I won't even notice the storm shift until I'm regularly sun swimming in my birthday suit with Flipper.  :) 

                                              

Anxiety weighs down the human heart, but a good word cheers it up.   

Proverbs 12:25 (NRSV)

Poses and People

Forward Bends:  Energetically calming.  Bring an inner perspective.  Not easy to do if you are stiff.

Back Bends:  Energetically charging.  Encourage an outer expression.  Not easy to do if you are weak.

Inversions:  Energetically balancing.  Require trust and courage.  Not easy to do if you are afraid.

Twists:  Energetically cleansing.  Detoxify and move the inner structure.  Not easy to do if you are full.

We need an assortment of poses in our practice if we are to be wholly healthy and well-balanced in our bodies and mindsets.  

The same is true about the people in our practice of life.

We need calming people to help us look inward, even if we don't want to.  People who can help us find the flexibility to bend, but not break.  These people are gentle souls who extend patience and tender guidance.  Do you have a Forward Bender in your life?  Who is s/he?

We need energizing people to motivate us, especially if we are under- or over-whelmed.  Back Benders identify specific goals and help us reach them by providing clear directions.  These people are bold and know themselves.  That's why they can help us find our own true, authentic voice.  Do you have a Back Bender in your life?  Who is s/he?

We need balancing people to bring us back to home base, back to alignment, back to center.  That's the only way fresh perspectives can come to problematic situations.  These people give us time to find True North.  Stand beside us in case we wavier or fall.  Help us back up again if we do.  Do you have an Inverter in your life?  Who is s/he?

We need cleansing people who are not afraid of our confessions but welcome them.  People who listen, watch and pray without poking or prodding or judging. People who understand how difficult letting go can be.  Do you have a Twister in your life?  Who is s/he?

And what about you?  

Are you a Forward Bender for someone?  Who do you gently guide into calm?

How about a Back Bender?  Who do you motivate?

Are you an Inverter?  Have you helped someone on the edge find balance lately?

Are you a Twister?  When's the last time you heard a confession and saw the sigh of relief that followed?

Poses and People.  So much we can learn from them.  So much we can offer.

 

Camas Lillies

Consider the lilies of the field,
the blue banks of camas opening
into acres of sky along the road.
Would the longing to lie down
and be washed by that beauty
abate if you knew their usefulness,
how the natives ground their bulbs
for flour, how the settlers' hogs
uprooted them, grunting in gleeful
oblivion as the flowers fell?

And you--what of your rushed and
useful life?  Imagine setting it all down--
papers, plans, appointments, everything--
leaving only a note:  "Gone
to the fields to be lovely.  Be back
when I'm through with blooming."

Even now, unneeded and uneaten,
the camas lilies gaze out above the grass
from their tender blue eyes.
Even in sleep your life will shine.
Make no mistake.  Of course
your work will always matter.
Yet Solomon in all his glory
was not arrayed like one of these.

--Lynn Ungar

Resting from Expectations

Lately I've been consciously practicing the challenging art of letting go, particularly letting go of expectations to get things done, now, my way.  Having expectations wears me out, and I'm ready to rest.  So I wrote this poem to inspire me.  Maybe if I let go of all the expectations I have for myself, I can also let go of all the expectations I have for others.  Now that would be restful, wouldn't it?


Let Rest Come

Let lists of still-to-dos
wait amidst piles in the office, letting go
of today before it turns into tomorrow.

Let dogs take up scratching
as husbands take up remotes
and beverages.  Let rest come.

Let counters collect mail lost
among card stock ads.  Let camomile tea steep
with its rising steam heralding soothing flavor.

Let birds go back to cozy nests.
Let glowing sun go down.  Let computer screens
go blank.  Let rest come.

To email unanswered, to phone calls
yet to be returned, to texts unread--
let rest come.

Let it come as Sabbath, and don't
resist.  God does not drive us
mercilessly, so let rest come.

Dayna Gelinas, August 1, 2013

Sacred Heart Monastery, Cullman, AL

The Lord is my shepherd...  He makes me lie down.

Psalm 23:1-2

From Steadiness to Freedom

     Recently I went to a yoga workshop weekend.  The emphasis was on steadiness and freedom.  “Freedom,” the teacher said, “only comes when there is steadiness.”  Each day he taught us how to find steadiness through alignment of our bodies so we could find freedom of movement in yoga postures.

     One of my favorite poses that we practiced was Supta Padagusthasana (Reclining Big Toe Pose).  We got into the pose and as we were lying on our backs, we took the right leg up and over to the left and held it there by holding onto a strap around the right foot with the left hand.  We then took our right arm out to the right, then reached over to the left, then out to the right, then over to the left, several times, back and forth.

     As we held to aligned steadiness, continuing to hold the right foot in the strap with the left hand, we discovered more and more freedom in our right shoulder. Soon the right shoulder blade was hugging the yoga mat as much as the left one.

     Freedom to expand and open the right shoulder came from the steadiness of holding the right foot in an aligned position with the left hand.

     As I lay there experiencing the wonderful easy tight challenging openness, I remembered a similar lesson on freedom that comes from steadiness:   "Jesus told the people who had faith in him, 'If you keep on obeying what I have said, you truly are my disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”'  John 8:31-32 (CEV - emphasis mine)

     Just as yoga helps me find freedom in my body’s joints and muscles through steadiness of alignment and consistent practice, so Jesus helps me find freedom in my soul as I hold steady to His mandates and apply them consistently, daily, to my life.  When tough questions bombard me, I go to Him for enlightenment.  I hold steady to His tutelage.  I exercise His precepts over and over again, until they are my own, and from that steady routine of obedience, I find wildly wonderful freedom.  

     As the yoga workshop came to a close a chant was sung in Sanskrit to Ram, the passionate, victorious heart.  Gathered in a semi-circle, everyone sat with eyes closed swaying to music and singing in unison.  It was a sweet melody and I love to sing, but for me the song was off base--Intoning praises to the heart of Ram contradicts Jesus’ teaching of the Greatest Commandment.  So I unobtrusively rolled up my yoga mat and left a bit early.

     By adhering to Christ’s instruction, I possessed freedom to not join in with the yoga crowd and chant the yoga song.  Freedom to leave ahead of time, without shame or apology.  Freedom to be confidently me, a daughter of Most High God.  

“Which is most important of all the commandments?”

Jesus  said, “The first in importance is, ‘Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; 

so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.’ 

Mark 12:28-30 (MSG)

Sun Moon Yoga

      I went to a Level 2 yoga class at a local studio and enjoyed being led through a practice by another teacher.  We did some nice warming up poses, some core strengtheners, some standing poses, a few balances and ended up with some reclining twists.  It was a lovely experience to be able to apply all the techniques I am constantly teaching others to another teacher’s class.  Of course, she didn’t know all the cues and pointers going on in my head, and she probably couldn’t see all the fine tuning I was doing while holding poses like Side Angle and Warrior II, Tree and Half Moon.  After class she apologized for not making the class challenging enough.  I had to reassure her that I was thoroughly challenged.  For to me, a Level 2 class is not about the difficulty of the poses but the level of awareness that is brought to each asana.  During her class I had been thoroughly attentive to my body—to its tensions, its weaknesses, its holding patterns, its strengths.  I had worked in each posture to bring balance and structure with just the right amount of effort.  I had worked equally on softening some components and strengthening others.   

     In a beginner’s class you will often find people who are applying too much effort.  In a Level 2 class, it may appear that no effort is being applied at all. But don’t be fooled by appearances. All the work is going on in the deep places where effort meets ease and work meets rest, where the art of balancing the opposing tension of opposites is being learned.  

     Young and old, male and female, child and adult, leader and follower--we're all learning to balance the opposing tensions in our lives.  God has established these ongoing, perpetual rhythms.  The tide comes in - the tide goes out; the sun rises - the sun sets; the rain falls - the sun shines; someone is born - someone dies; we inhale - we exhale.  Day after day we are confronted with those who fill us with joy, those who annoy us; those who say too much, those who say too little; those who are too personal, those who are impersonal.  Yet we are given instructions that the two shall become one; children obey your parents; fathers do not exasperate your children; husbands love your wives; wives respect your husbands; submit one to another; love your neighbor.  All these instructions presuppose that people must be in our lives for a good reason.  Could it be that they are there to teach us this art of balancing opposing tensions of opposites?

     Joy-sorrow; pride-disappointment; work-rest; effort-ease; stretching-contracting; sun-moon.   Ha-tha Yoga:  Finding balance in rhythms of life's relationships.

The day is yours, and yours also the night; you established the sun and moon. 

Psalm 74:16 (NIV)  

Time for New Eyes

Last week I got in my car without my sunglasses, so I looked in the glove compartment for favorite spare pair, my first RayBans that I’ve had the good fortune of holding onto for 12 years.  I remember when I first put those brown RayBans over my eyes the very first time… 

Suddenly, I could see in sunshine bright  like never before.

To my horror, when I pulled lose-proof brown spare pair out of the glove compartment last Tuesday, I discovered the right lens smashed…  

I heard the Lord speak to me in the way only He can do:  

"I'm going to give you a new way of seeing."   

Now, to me, that’s lense-smashing good news much more valuable than some RayBans.  

So I found another pair of inferior sunglasses stuffed in the back of the glove compartment and went on to my appointment. I met with a consultant and we discussed Time Management.  I was so inspired by her advice and business sense that I went straight to the mall and bought a new clock.  

I got myself a clock that chimes every 15 minutes to the tune of Ave Maria.  Now when I am at my desk, I hear the chime and I pause.   

I place busy hands in prayer position at thinking brow 

with base of thumbs pressing lightly into working mind.   

I close my eyes and breathe.   

It only takes a few seconds and the chimes end, but in those few seconds I have been given a gift:  Time to remember God's hands hold all.  Time to remember each breath His gift.  Time to remember God with me.

My new clock is helping me manage time instead of lack of time managing me.  Days are longer and working day ends sooner.  At 8:00pm with the sound of the bells, I straighten my desk, walk out of the office and close the door.  I don't enter again until morning. 

 

I remember hearing a Scripture a long time ago:  Teach me to number my days.  

Days are made of numbered hours.  Hours of minutes, minutes of moments.  

Suddenly, thanks to Ava Maria time keeper, 

I have a new way of seeing those passing numbered moments.

Show me, Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; 

let me know how fleeting my life is. Psalm 39:4