Changing Habits

"The chains of habit are so light that you do not notice them until they are so strong that you cannot break them."  I first heard that statement from John Riley at Metro Bible Study.  Ominous thought, isn't it?  Lord knows, I've got plenty of strong links in the Habit Chain.  Fortunately, some of the links represent good fixations like brushing my teeth, eating healthy and exercising, but it's the other inclinations I'm tired of.  One strong link in particular begs for shattering Samson strength.     

"A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit."  Now this quotation from Erasmus, Martin Luther's contemporary and admirer, gave me hope.  Hope enough to send me off in search of a hammer and a nail. 

The old nail lodged in my wooden brain for way too long was the proclivity of TCT:  Thinking Critical Thoughts.  Critical thoughts about my diet, about my personality, about my friends, about my family, about many of the things God loves and created.  Well, I grew tired of being critical.  It's not fun.  It's heavy and exhausting like trying to swim a stormy ocean with clothes on.  I want to be free of the extra weight and bulk and chaotic fabric.  I want to cavort and swim naked with the dolphins in sun sparkle.

I decided it was time to lay the hammer down and birth a new addiction.  Time to beat out the spike of TCT with the anchor of POE, Praying Outrageous Encouragement.

At first I attempted POE for the one I was thinking critically about, but that was too big a step for a newbie like me.  My thoughts kept returning like a boomerang back to the same old rut in the mind road.  So I had to step back, way back, to Square One.  Instead of pounding POE for the person or thing that obviously Needs Work, bless her heart, I decided to tackle POE for something that was effortless... like my best friend or her daughter's wedding or my best friend's 50th birthday or my best friend's yoga business.  After all, applying POE for something uncomplicated more accurately matched my skill set.   

And didn't Jesus say "My yoke is easy"? 

So at present I'm following His lead and setting myself up for smooth success.  I'm allowing an elementary pattern to guide me.  Once I master POE for the obvious, then maybe I'll advance to a bigger hammer, a tougher nail, a more challenging blueprint.

And if John Riley was right, I won't even notice the storm shift until I'm regularly sun swimming in my birthday suit with Flipper.  :) 

                                              

Anxiety weighs down the human heart, but a good word cheers it up.   

Proverbs 12:25 (NRSV)

Poses and People

Forward Bends:  Energetically calming.  Bring an inner perspective.  Not easy to do if you are stiff.

Back Bends:  Energetically charging.  Encourage an outer expression.  Not easy to do if you are weak.

Inversions:  Energetically balancing.  Require trust and courage.  Not easy to do if you are afraid.

Twists:  Energetically cleansing.  Detoxify and move the inner structure.  Not easy to do if you are full.

We need an assortment of poses in our practice if we are to be wholly healthy and well-balanced in our bodies and mindsets.  

The same is true about the people in our practice of life.

We need calming people to help us look inward, even if we don't want to.  People who can help us find the flexibility to bend, but not break.  These people are gentle souls who extend patience and tender guidance.  Do you have a Forward Bender in your life?  Who is s/he?

We need energizing people to motivate us, especially if we are under- or over-whelmed.  Back Benders identify specific goals and help us reach them by providing clear directions.  These people are bold and know themselves.  That's why they can help us find our own true, authentic voice.  Do you have a Back Bender in your life?  Who is s/he?

We need balancing people to bring us back to home base, back to alignment, back to center.  That's the only way fresh perspectives can come to problematic situations.  These people give us time to find True North.  Stand beside us in case we wavier or fall.  Help us back up again if we do.  Do you have an Inverter in your life?  Who is s/he?

We need cleansing people who are not afraid of our confessions but welcome them.  People who listen, watch and pray without poking or prodding or judging. People who understand how difficult letting go can be.  Do you have a Twister in your life?  Who is s/he?

And what about you?  

Are you a Forward Bender for someone?  Who do you gently guide into calm?

How about a Back Bender?  Who do you motivate?

Are you an Inverter?  Have you helped someone on the edge find balance lately?

Are you a Twister?  When's the last time you heard a confession and saw the sigh of relief that followed?

Poses and People.  So much we can learn from them.  So much we can offer.

 

Camas Lillies

Consider the lilies of the field,
the blue banks of camas opening
into acres of sky along the road.
Would the longing to lie down
and be washed by that beauty
abate if you knew their usefulness,
how the natives ground their bulbs
for flour, how the settlers' hogs
uprooted them, grunting in gleeful
oblivion as the flowers fell?

And you--what of your rushed and
useful life?  Imagine setting it all down--
papers, plans, appointments, everything--
leaving only a note:  "Gone
to the fields to be lovely.  Be back
when I'm through with blooming."

Even now, unneeded and uneaten,
the camas lilies gaze out above the grass
from their tender blue eyes.
Even in sleep your life will shine.
Make no mistake.  Of course
your work will always matter.
Yet Solomon in all his glory
was not arrayed like one of these.

--Lynn Ungar

Resting from Expectations

Lately I've been consciously practicing the challenging art of letting go, particularly letting go of expectations to get things done, now, my way.  Having expectations wears me out, and I'm ready to rest.  So I wrote this poem to inspire me.  Maybe if I let go of all the expectations I have for myself, I can also let go of all the expectations I have for others.  Now that would be restful, wouldn't it?


Let Rest Come

Let lists of still-to-dos
wait amidst piles in the office, letting go
of today before it turns into tomorrow.

Let dogs take up scratching
as husbands take up remotes
and beverages.  Let rest come.

Let counters collect mail lost
among card stock ads.  Let camomile tea steep
with its rising steam heralding soothing flavor.

Let birds go back to cozy nests.
Let glowing sun go down.  Let computer screens
go blank.  Let rest come.

To email unanswered, to phone calls
yet to be returned, to texts unread--
let rest come.

Let it come as Sabbath, and don't
resist.  God does not drive us
mercilessly, so let rest come.

Dayna Gelinas, August 1, 2013

Sacred Heart Monastery, Cullman, AL

The Lord is my shepherd...  He makes me lie down.

Psalm 23:1-2